We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
