her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
