Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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