She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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