i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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