so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
