who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just saw a hot homeless man
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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