I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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