is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
