it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
