Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
