I can text with my tongue
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
