Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
