Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
