the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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