he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
