if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
