Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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