i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
