I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
