if i can run in heels then i can drive
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
