Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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