They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
BRING THE BAGELS
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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