I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
