I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I love having hate sex.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
