So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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