fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
