At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
