Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
