You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You brought string cheese to the strip club
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
