I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
two words: eviction party
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
