3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
