I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
