Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He has the fingertips of a God
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