genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
