Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
