Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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