I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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