C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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