rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I think a kid would responsible me up
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
