So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
