I want to stick my p in your. b.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
