yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
