Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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