I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
