think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just high enough for therapy.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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