Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Randomize
