man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
