Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
It was confusing and full of hummus
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
