We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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