Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
